A night in Gail’s

Chapter 3

Miles away, out in the suburbs, Sreedevi couldn’t believe her eyes. She read the paper once again. Yes!! It is the same. A sob rose from her. She missed her husband. He was her Knight in shining armor, her prince charming. He came to her at a time when all hope was lost and rescued her from that hell hole she lived. He was her God! He is her God. Thinking back to her life at the village, she shuddered at the taunts and torture she had to endure from her mother. She always wondered if she was adopted. No mother can be this cruel to her child. She gave herself a mental shake to clear her head.

“Enough of it !! “ She had so much happy memories to think about.

Theirs was an arranged marriage. The sole attraction that her parents saw in this alliance was that Vinay’s family demanded no dowry. She got lucky, she got a loving husband who loved her and treated her like she was his queen. None of her wishes was thwarted. What she desired, she got. As was her desire, he bought a cozy little cottage in the outskirts of the city. They had a big garden where she spent hours, a swing in the porch to spent lazy evenings. Vinay’s job sent him away on long tours. But that was okay. The reunion was that much sweeter. He always bought back something special for her. Being from a small village, with just high school education to her name, the world Vinay created for Sreedevi was her heaven.  She used to pinch herself to ensure that she is not dreaming.

But Alas!!! The dream was shattered. It was just a month ago that she attended her husband’s funeral. She was still unsure of what happened. She was weeding her garden when the phone rang. It was the police. They had requested her come to the LiveCare hospital. They had found a brutally murdered body under the bridge two days ago and assumed that it might be Vinay. She was brought here to confirm their assumption. He had carried no identification with him when the police found him. His laptop, phone, wallet, credit cards, wedding ring everything was stolen. With no clue to trace his whereabouts, the police were about to bury him as an anonymous body. It was then that they recovered an abandoned car nearby and the car was registered in Vinay’s name. That’s how they contacted Sreedevi and on further verification, they confirmed that the body was indeed Vinay’s. Since all of his valuables were missing, Police were of the opinion that he might have got killed when he was being robbed and a case was registered under the same. All the police investigation was progressing in that direction. All this was gibberish to her. Only thing registered in her mind after that fateful phone call was that her Vinay is no more!!  Her perfect world came tumbling down so fast. She was so overwhelmed by all of it that she failed to comprehend the impact of all this. She walked around like a zombie for weeks. Her parents gave her little comfort and were reluctant to take her home. She found solace in closing herself in the cottage with her husband’s memories.

Today was one such day. Between crying over her lost life and reminiscing those happy memories she spent with her husband, she happened to see a picture in that day’s daily. She recalled seeing the exact same thing on his body when her husband was brought home for the funeral. She was naïve enough to think nothing of it at that time.  From the mark on Vinay’s and Jessi’s body it is clear that this was the handiwork of one person. As she read the news, she felt an instant connection with Jenni. Both of them are struggling to cope up with their loss. She decided to meet Jenni. They could each be a shoulder for the other to cry on. Sreedevi is not astute enough to analyze the situation or to reason out her decisions. She had a nurturing heart which ruled her decisions. And that heart is pulling her to Jenni.

Her phone hasn’t stopped ringing from morning. Jenni was afraid to attend any of the calls. She knew that hell was waiting for her at office. She dreaded going to office and facing Alex. But she has to. She owed it to Alex. She is no coward. Gathering her courage, she picked up her cell phone and dialed Alex’s number.

“Hi Alex,”

Silence..

“I am really sorry Alex. I had to do it. For Jessi. “

Silence..

“You know I was at tether’s end. With the total negligence from Police, this was my last shot at finding an answer. Please say something. Be angry. Don’t be silent”

“You could have told me. “

“I wasn’t sure what you would say. “

“With all that we have been through, you couldn’t trust me? I gave you my trust and you shattered it to bits. If you had let me into what was happening in your life, I would have been there for you. We could have sorted out all this together.”

“This was my mess Alex. I did not want to involve you in all this. I didn’t want you to get dirty. “

“That’s it. You just don’t get it. Do you? All I ever wanted was to be with you. Has it ever occurred to you that  I would’ve gladly taken your mess as mine. I have been waiting for a long time for you to see me as a person. Not just your Editor. Waiting for the right time to invite you into my life, waiting to share your pain and sorrows, trying to prove myself worthy of you.  But no!! How much ever I showed you that I care about you, you are just blissfully ignorant of it. So now I am being as direct as I can be and asking you, I want to take care of you till the last breath. Will you let me? “

“Whoaa!! Alex!!  I am….mmmmm.  I don’t.. uuhhhh… I never thought…  “

“I think I got my answer. This just shows that I would never have a place in your life. I am not the first person whose love went unrequited. So don’t worry about me. I would be alright. Eventually..  I will be always there if you need me.”

“Alex!! Wait!!  You can’t do this to me right now. “

“ I am not doing anything to you Jenni!! Let’s not discuss about it anymore, By the way I have a message for you.  MD is so pissed off with that little stunt you pulled. He wants to see you right away. Good bye. See you around. “

Beep.. Beep..

Jenni fell back into the chair she was perching on. Alex?  In love with her??  How did she miss that?  She managed to lose another person who cared about her and the irony was that she didn’t know she had him to lose. She could feel hysteria overtaking her. A giggle burst out. She laughed at the irony of it all. Laughs gave way to hiccups. Her eyes began to get moist.  Exhausted, she laid down, silent tears were gushing out. She didn’t know what she was crying about anymore. Once the dam has broken, there is no stopping it. This crying has become a habit now. A smile formed on her lips at this thought. With that her eyes slowly shuttered shut.

She woke up feeling disoriented. It was mid afternoon. Wasn’t she supposed to be at work now? Slowly everything came back to her. Upon remembering the hysteria she had, she began doubting her sanity.

“Pull yourself together Jenni!! “ she thought to herself. “You will need all your senses to get out of this one. “

She took a shower and got ready to meet the MD. She was still unsure about how to handle the situation. On her drive towards office, a wayside church caught her attention. Something was pulling her towards it. She turned to the driveway of the church and pulled up near the curb. It had been long since she prayed or went to a church. She remembered her mother dragging the reluctant twins to church every sunday. She entered the empty church. She had forgotten how to pray. So she said a casual hi to God and sat on a bench. She could feel a strange sense of peace filling her. She just sat there.  She should have come here before. She felt strange here. Happy?  Peaceful?  She doesn’t know how to describe it. But it felt good. When she got up, she felt free. Her mind was made up. She knew what to do. She have to meet the MD first and then him.

To be contd…

previous chapter

A night in Gail’s

CHAPTER 2

Not many were in attendance for the funeral. Her heart ached for Jessi. She vowed herself not to let her sister’s life be in vain. Even though Jenni, the cool and sensible of the two could never relate with irrational and temperamental Jessi, they shared a unique bond. She knew in her heart that this was not a simple case of random murder. She wanted to take a closer look at the burned mark on her sister. After the rites and rituals were completed, before the body was taken out to be cremated, she got few minutes alone with Jessi. After paying her final respects, she gently gathered the white blouse worn by Jessi aside.

Now that the dirt and dried blood have been cleaned up, she could make out a figure emerging. It seemed to be a distorted V. She didn’t know what to make of it but didn’t want to lose what she felt was a vital clue. Saying a quick apology to her sister for her insensitivity, she took out her mobile and clicked a picture of it. Rest of the funeral passed in a haze. She wished she could just take off and be herself. but it was not a luxury she could not afford now. She has to take care of people who came to the funeral. Working on autopilot, she somehow passed through the ordeal.

Next morning she scanned the newspaper to see if the incident had made it to the paper. She couldn’t find it anywhere in the front page. After a quick search, she found a small column towards the last page reporting about the incident. It dismisses the case as another rape and murder frequently occurring in a city this big. They had portrayed Jessi in a bad light, implying that she brought this upon herself. Nowhere have they mentioned about the imprint made on her flesh. It was completely ignored. Jenni couldn’t comprehend why the whole world is eager to sweep her sister’s death under the carpet and go on as if nothing is lost. She lost her sister!! Dammit!! Her resolve to get to the bottom of this mystery was getting stronger and stronger as she met each obstacle. In her determination, she barged in to the hospital and demanded Jenni’s post mortem reports. With some difficulty, she finally got her hands on the report. Though she didn’t expect anything relevant, she quickly went through the contents. As expected the report just says that she was raped and murdered. Jenni was dubious about the integrity of the report. Same forces which influenced the Police can have easily tampered with the reports. Nevertheless she decided to try convincing the Inspector one last time.

Jenni approached the Inspector with the photo she had taken. She hoped to convince the inspector to re-open the case but the inspector brushed her off. His offhandedness lead her to believe that some very influential people are pulling the strings here. She tried meeting the Commissioner of police and appeal to him to consider her sister’s case. She doggedly knocked on every door she could find. All her efforts fell on deaf ears. She placed herself in front of Commissioner’s office hoping that someone would eventually come to help her. Hours passed. Night became day. Sun rose again, but Jenni was still waiting on the stairs. An agitated Commissioner sent the guards to remove her from the premises. He didn’t want the press to get hold of this issue and make it to headlines. It was with great difficulty that he and his men suppressed the news from leaking to the media.

On the drive back home, Jenni was surprised to find tear drops falling on her hands. It has been a long time since she had cried. To be precise, she last cried on the day her parents died. Her tears had dried up after that. Probably because there was no one to console her, she had learnt to suppress her feelings and emotions. But now the frustration and grief have finally broken her down. She parked the car to near to the ledge and wept her heart out. The feeling of being totally and utterly alone was tearing her. Much later, when her sobs and sighs have died down, she started her car and started home. She felt a little better. But she won’t rest until her sister’s murderer is brought to light.

Her phone rang as she entered the gateway.

“Hello sir”

“Hey Jenni, How are you holding up? Don’t forget that we all are here for you. Call us if you need anything.”

“Thankyou sir, I really appreciate it. I am really sorry that I was not able to make it to office last couple of days”

“That’s okay. I understand. You take as many days as you want. Although would you do me a favour? Last couple of days your column was handled by Sandy in advertising and she have been dishing out utter crap. I got few calls from the top asking me what the hell was going on. If I had any choice, I wouldn’t have given it to print. But you know how understaffed we are..”

“Come on sir!! Please don’t beat around the bush. After all you have done for me, the least I can do is this. I will come to office from tomorrow. “

“No No.. I don’t expect you to come. But if you can, please write something for your column and send it to press directly. “

“Sure sir. I will mail you a copy before that”

“That’s not necessary. I know about your work and it doesn’t need my editing. “

“Ok .. I will start working on it. “

She tried to come up with something remotely interesting for the column. But her mind was totally occupied. She could only think of that mark on Jessi’s body.

“Is marriage in cards for Saif and kareena!! “  Off came that page.

“Are the dogs treated with more care than children?” It found its place in dust bin.

“Jessi”.. It got stroked out too. She is a columnist, and not a reporter as she aspired to be. She can’t write this. But her heart was willing her to write. Put her thoughts to words. She knew she will never give this to print. But writing always soothed her. She took the crumpled paper back from the bin, smoothed its wrinkles and wrote. Just to clear her mind. Her hand flew. She wrote about Jessi, her life, her current predicament, how the police is ignoring her pleas. With a lighter heart she put down the pen. As she was re-reading it, out of nowhere an idea got planted in her mind. She has the permission to directly send this to print. No one is going to stop her.

No. I can’t do that to Alex. I can’t betray his trust. He was her pillar of strength. He was there for her whenever she needed a shoulder to cry on. She remembered that he was beside her the whole time for the funeral lending his silent support. Although she never acknowledged his presence, he was there for her, never expecting anything in return. Though they never crossed the boundary of their editor – columnist relationship, she considered him her special friend. And friends don’t do this to their friends. She crumpled the paper again and threw it away.

To remove herself from any more temptation, she went into kitchen and started making coffee.

“Although… If he truly cared about her, he would understand. Right? “  her mind was struggling to find excuses to make this right.

“This is about Jessi. What if through this I can finally make the Inspector come to his senses?”

“I will apologize to Alex first thing in the morning” She made up her mind. Before she lost her resolve, she quickly typed it and faxed it to the office. She was filled with remorse. But little ecstatic that she did something about the situation.

The city read this article with mixed emotions. Some with surprise. Some warily. But there were two souls who read this with shock and panic and vengeance…

To be contd…

  previous chapter                                                                                                                                                                                                                 next chapter

A Night in Gail’s

CHAPTER 1

  Jenni   threw her pen down in frustration. It was 10 o clock  and still she hadn’t come up with a story for her column. She was sick and tired of this job. She accepted this job offer as the columnist for a mediocre newspaper when she began losing her hope of making it as an investigative reporter. She thought that with enough experience she would have better chances of acquiring a job as reporter. But that was three years ago. She fell into the comfortable but boring routine of a daily columnist even though it hardly stimulated her. Her logical and analytical mind is better suited for reporting than writing these fluffy pieces like who dates whom and who inherited what. With a sigh she went back to brainstorming hoping that some idea would pop up.

The tring tring of her cell phone broke her already precarious concentration into shreds. “Jessi calling…” She debated with herself whether to pick the call or just ignore. She was in no mood to deal with her erratic and unstable twin. But the consistent ringing made her to attend the call. She was greeted by an unfamiliar voice. She hoped against hope that it was not another call asking her to escort  Jessi  from another of the dark and shady local pubs she frequents.

“Freddy speaking.. How do you know the owner of this number?” Jenni was not surprised by the rudeness in his tone. Her sister hardly have any classy friends.

“I am her sister. May I know who you are and where my sister is?”

“I found a lady’s dead body behind the cement factory downtown. I got this mobile from her purse and dialled the first number in the call log”.

Her heart stopped for a second. Her twin sister dead? No.. it cant be.. This guy must be wrong.  She will know if Jessi is in trouble. This can just be a ruse to get her downtown.. But for what? That doesn’t make sense. Nobody would go into this much trouble if their intention was just to mug her. She was confused and her mind was refusing to believe that her sister is dead.

“Are you there lady? I haven’t got all day”

“I am sorry. Are you sure she is dead? Did you check her pulse?”

“I am not touching the dead body , I knew I shouldn’t have bothered to call you. I am not gonna be tied up  with this. Good bye lady”

“No!!! wait!! Where are you exactly? Did you call police?”

“the alley behind the cement factory next to the river”

Beep.. beep.. he had cut the call..

Frustrated with the lack of information, Jenni picked up her keys and rushed to her car.. She called police on the way and gave them the details. When she reached the scene, she could see that a crowd have already formed and two police jeeps were already parked in the aisle. She pushed through the crowd to where the Officer was standing. She saw the dead body. Yes it was her sister. Dead and pale!!! There were signs of violence. Blood was oozing out of her head like she was hit there with something. There were scratch marks on her face and arms. Her sister was always so vivacious and energetic!!

Not able to stand the sight, she turned towards the Inspector.

“I am Jenni. I called you about the murder”

“Ah yes ma’am! This is your sister?”

“Yes, Her name is Jessi. She is a DJ in Enigma”

“From preliminary investigation, its clear that this is a classic case of rape and murder”

White hot anger pulsed through her body when she heard Inspector explaining about her sister ’s murder in such a cold and unemotional way.

“I don’t think so!! My sister is a trained martial arts expert and I know she can defend herself.”

“She reeks of alcohol and I am sure if tested we could find signs of drugs in her blood. I don’t think that she could have defended herself against a kid at this stage. We are sorry for your loss ma’am. But I think your sister was a disaster waiting to happen”. With this he turned and left to talk with other policemen.

True, her sister was out of control. What with her drug use and over drinking she was the apt candidate to be raped and murdered. But Jenni’s mind wouldn’t allow her to believe this to be a rape. She felt something more devious was at work here. She went near her sister’s body. Her clothes was torn. It was too perfectly torn to be torn in haste. It looked like someone wanted it to be perceived as rape. She know she don’t have enough evidence to convince the Inspector otherwise. All she had was a gut feeling. She knelt down to adjust her sister’s dress. It was then that she saw it.

“Inspector!! Inspector!!!   There is something on her chest.. Like she is branded with hot iron”

“Yeah.. we saw it. It might be another of her tatoos gone bad.”

“How can you dismiss it so offhandedly? This can be a clue of some sort to identify the murderer. When I saw her yesterday she didn’t have any kind of tatoo on her chest. And it looks like it was freshly burned.”

“Look mam, We did a background check on her. She was involved in all kinds of drug deals. She is not what we call as an epitome of virtue. This can either be a gift from her so called boyfriends or a drug deal ended badly. Frankly speaking we have enough on our plate and don’t have time to waste on investigating why a slut like this was murdered.”

Jenni was shaking with anger. It is her sister. She had to get to the bottom of this. Jessi doesn’t deserve to be treated like a street dog. She went back to her sister. Police was ready to take her away to morgue. She was lifted in stretcher and taken to ambulance. Jenni just stood there watching the headlights of ambulance fading away. Now she was literally alone.. Jenni and Jessi lost their parents at the age of 15. The added responsibility made Jenni wordly wise and a mature beyond her age where as Jessi’s life took a turn towards disaster.

Back at home, Jenni was tossing and turning in her bed. Sleep was eluding her. The sight of burned flesh of Jessi’s  body was troubling her. No one would carry a burning iron rod around. This one clue eliminates the probability of it being a rape or chances that she was the victim of fights between drug lords .No one would be insane enough to brand someone….

Unless… Unless the person is actually insane….

To be contd…

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 Next chapter 

40000/-

That’s a number I won’t forget ever!!!!!! Ok, let me explain.

It all started when I had a desire to own my own laptop. I searched and searched about various brands, different configurations and finally landed on Dell inspiron. Initially I thought I will save enough from my salary and then buy. But then, you know my thing for anything electronic right?? As expected I couldn’t wait that long. I was just itching to hold my laptop. So I talked my dad into a deal. He pay 40000 now, I will replay him little by little. I begged him to send the money ASAP so that I can order lap without any delay.

I don’t know what went wrong. I had given my account no correctly. I remember him taking down as such. But there was some mix up and the money went to some other account. I ran to nearest branch and explained my situation. Everyone there was helpless. I was advised to write a letter to dad’s bank explaining the mix up, give enough proof to support it, then the bank will investigate and if found legitimate would give back the money.

                            The big but was that all of this can happen only if the mistaken account holder didn’t withdraw the money, in which case I can just say good bye to laptop. The whole process will take much longer then what would have taken for me to save up . My fate and my damned obsession.!!!!!!! What else can I say? So what do you think happened??

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm……………………………!!!

Fine fine, I won’t keep you in suspense

There is a twist in the story. The mistaken account no and my account no differs only in one digit, the last digit. I came to know that if the first few digits are same, the account is in same branch. Now, my account was a salary account, started in the branch inside my company. That branch contains only my colleague’s accounts!!! This gave me an idea, I changed track and asked the bank to reveal account holders name. Because if I know the name, I can dig up the person’s complete data from our company site. Then beg, threat or fall at his feet – whatever it takes to get back the money. This being my plan, I proceeded to knock several doors to get the name.

Since it was against bank policy to reveal customer data my pleas fell on deaf ears. Not only my dream of holding my laptop moving farther and farther away but my dad was getting hysterical. Can’t blame him coz 40000rs is at stake. Finally, I found a sympathetic ear, someone at bank slipped up and revealed the name.( I think that mistake was an intentional one, he couldn’t bear to see my woeful and dejected face any longer ) we began a search for that person and got hold of his phone number. But alas as if all gods are plotting against me, the phone was switched off for 2 continuous days. I tried to contact someone who worked with him and came to know that he have just been transferred to a new place and nobody knows the new number!!

I was getting frustrated by minute; we would have called atleast 100 people, searched hundreds of profiles in FB to get someone that is linked to him. Nothing!!! It was like this person has vanished from face of earth. I was at tether’s end and almost lost hope. It was in such fix that my friend got the new number and thus ending the fiasco. Bless him, he agreed to transfer the money as soon as I contacted. So it’s in my brand new laptop that I am typing this blog

Back with a vengeance!!!!!!!!

              I don’t know if anyone is still following me here. To those of you who are, A big HI I was stranded in a place with no net. (No, not jail ).That’s the reason behind my prolonged absence. Anyways now that I am back, lemme fill in on what is going on in my life.

So, straight out of college I was exported to Infosys training camp. It was all I expected it to be and more. Sure the training was grueling. They were hell bend on extracting the last remaining drop of blood in me. But contrary to the rumors I was not left there to die, I can say the life there changed me somehow. I was chiseled out to be a better person both personally and professionally. Now I can say I know something about computers, something 4 years of engineering studies have failed to do..

            Let me stop right here before you think I became nerd over there. I got to meet few amazing people there. Soon we were a gang. A gang that told the worst-est-est PJ’s. Anybody overhearing us would probably die of heart attack but we had a blast. We were together 24×7, gave surprise birthday parties which ended up being cake smearing contests, late night pizzas etc etc.. you know what I mean :) but on the off side I missed my home, especially my mom’s cooking. Just imagine, I started eating her ‘upma’ savouring each morsel. For me that’s the ultimate. All in all it was one of the most precious few months of my life.

            Well ummm this is it. This is what I have been upto till now. Now I am officially a software engineer living in garden city

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder!

“In a world where everybody has a tail, the one without it is considered physically handicapped”

As any other day, I was going on about with my daily ritual of scanning the newspaper when this particular caption caught my attention. The article as such was irrelevant but the caption triggered a chord in my memory and inspired me to write this post.

When I moved here to Tamil Nadu, the folks here used to tease and taunt me because of my English accent which had a tinge of Malayalam in it. They used to make me repeat ‘college’ and ‘office’ n such ‘ooo’ words over and over. Though given casually it was painful nonetheless. There was one particular girl who laughs right in my face when I speak. It doesn’t seem a big deal now. But you have to understand that I was at a new place with no friends and absolutely no one to staunchly support me. I was miserable throughout my first year here. You could say it was quite a blow to my self confidence. My battered confidence and bruised pride incapacitated me of my ability to speak in public. Even today when I stand on a stage, I am a bunch of tightly knotted nerves shivering all over.

Hmmm. I think you got more whining than you bargained for he he he but please do read on, I have a point to make. People here think that what they know is the correct accent. And I can’t convince them otherwise because I am outnumbered. Here is where you apply the caption I mentioned above. When the majority has a tail, the tail-less “ME” is considered handicapped!!!!! A parallel situation occurs when a tamilian moved to kerala. They would undoubtedly be teased for their words like cross or zero where they are the ones sans tail and hence handicapped.

Alright!! Jokes apart, lets take a broader view. Who is considered the ultimate authority regarding the english accent? In my opinion, absolutely no one!! An American is said to have American accent when he is anywhere outside America. Same goes for British, French or Spaniards. They are all handicapped when they are out of their circle.

So what I am trying to say is BEAUTY IS IN THE EYE OF THE BEHOLDER

Or rather, in this case,

ACCURACY IS IN THE PERCEPTION OF THE LISTENER !!!!

May the most whackiest win.

I find myself with a lot of time at hand. Its that time of your life where the obligations and duties of being a student has come to an end and the responsibilities of being an adult has not yet been shouldered. I have 3 solid months before I have to join the company.

Aunties back home are an exasperating lot. They called up my mom, asking her to teach me cooking, washing, sewing and what not. They say it is essential as I am 21 years and soon to be a member of another family. Pooh!!! As if you need to take a course on it. I am sure I can manage just fine. I think they are jealous of my free time, trying to inflict their boring life into mine. My mom tries her best to make me a proper.. Mmmm what do you say.. lady?  I hope she never succeeds. he he he.

I am not at all interested in doing any course either. The better part of last 21 years was spent on studying and I am pretty sure more studying awaits me in the company training period. So all kinds of educational courses are definitely out. I thought of going for guitar classes. But sadly they say I can barely cover sa- re-ga- ma in my 3 months. I had dreams to learn swimming, karate n even little bit of salsa. Alright… don’t laugh. There ain’t any taxes for dreaming.

So anyways.. None of my plans really panned out. Up until now my daily routine includes sleeping late, downloading and watching some random movie, reading a book.  Maybe this is the last chance I get to be a little mad and do crazy stuff. I don’t want to miss it.

So people, bring out the whackiest ideas in you. Tell me some really outrageous thing to do and make my day.

And please be practical. Don’t tell bungee jumping or cliff diving, something I can do but crazy. Don’t leave this page until you give me an idea. That’s an order!!!!

An attempt..

Alright.

I have put together few words that came to my mind. I dont have the courage to call this a poem, but a distant kin of it probably.  Read this and please tell me if I should continue my attempts or should i better put down my pen??

Friends and friendship

- My soul keepers..

That day still remains fresh

As engraved on hard rock.

My first day there.

A stranger among million strangers.

Time passed, seasons changed,

Somewhere along the way

Some became the lamps of my life.

Like a street lamp

Guiding a lost traveler,

They held my hand and led me.

The moments with them ,

The  greenest patches of my life.

All those fun, the teasing, the fights.

All bring a bittersweet smile to my lips

And a tear to my eyes.

The thought of parting

Is weighing down heavily in my heart.

Keeping the memories alive,

I live on…

Good old days….

For days I have been trying to write something.  I cannot think of a single thing to write about. Its then that it struck me. The most colourful and vibrant part of my life has just come to an end. I am not a college girl anymore. My life now has become just a dull existence.

I knew I will miss my college days, but never had I imagined that it will leave this deep dark hole in my heart. It was just yesterday that I entered this college as a fresher, but its already time to bid goodbye. I am stringing each word in this blog with an aching heart. This might not make an interesting read but that’s how I feel now.

Each and every moment of last four years is still vivid in my memory. First year went of in a flurry of introductions. Gradually people with similar frequency gravitated and formed a gang. My gang!! We were referred as the rowdy gang by staffs. But basically we were a bunch of sweet gals you know, seriously.!! Not a day had gone by without one of us being the object of wrath of some staff. Be it sleeping in class or updating latest gossip among ourselves in hushed voices or messaging with mobiles carefully hidden under desk. we have been there, done that. Over the years we learnt to fool the staffs by carefully schooling our expressions and giving a picture of demure students listening with utmost concentration as soon as staff turned towards us. When we didn’t have class, you can find us romping off in college corridors laughing, scowling at the bothersome mech guys or silently scanning the grounds for a glimpse of any handsome hunks  and of course the canteen, the word itself is self explanatory so there is no need to explain further about its position in our college life. Okay okay, I know I am raving about college as if I am the first to graduate ever, bear with my gibberish. It is just that I can’t find the right words to explain my emotion.

I wouldn’t say that my college is the best college. But it sure has given me the best four years. The Aneena who is leaving college now is not the same person who joined here four years ago. The experiences here made me the person I am today. It molded me and sometimes bend me to make me fit to live in this world. Whenever I turn back and reminisce, all the memories leave me with a smile on my lips, even the memories that made me cry at one point.

Race!!!!!!!!!!!

At times ,I would just like to take off!! Go somewhere,be someone else… Something , anything to get away from this rat race of a life. Sometimes the pressure, expectations, responsibilities becomes so unbearable that I would just like to scream my lungs out and runaway to some far away island. Or another planet is much preferable I guess!!!!

If you are one of those kinds who opine that a student’s life is a piece of cake, I would say YOU ARE WRONG!!! DEAD WRONG!!!

Even at kindergarten, one is not left to their own devices.  A compulsion to score more, gain a better rank, a push to be best in everything that we do .The simple pleasures of a child like dance and music is denied by making it a competition.

It feels like I have been running a race from the day ‘one’. Getting into a good school in itself is a massive feat- 10^th, 12^th, entry to a reputed college… – all hurdles along the race. I have somehow crossed these hurdles, sometimes stumbling, sometimes knocking of the hurdle from its way. I have somehow come through, with few bruises to show, not entirely unscathed.

Now I am being forced to face the ultimate hurdle!!!

The placement!!!!

This being the recession period and all, much difficulty in getting a placement is anticipated. I, being one among the unfortunate many belonging to the 2010 batch- the unluckiest batch ever recorded- was drowning in the unchartered waters with nowhere to swim. All my efforts were put in just to keep my head up. Nothing more.

As if the situation is not worse enough, many self appointed well wishers will appear, putting their big nose where it doesn’t belong. GOD!!!!! What is it with them??   Their advices just grate on my skin. Their pitying glance strips me of all come backs.  What do they care if I land a job or end up in the slums?? Ain’t it my life??

Soooo, I was filled with anxiety on the day of my interview. When I sat  down to crack the aptitude round, my stomach quivered with butterfly attack. The faces of numerous people counting on me and yet another group of faces , waiting for me to fail, loomed in front of me. The test was tough and when I came out of the hall, my hope of clearing it was nil. The wait for the result that ensued was the longest in my life. The suspense is unbearable. Each second ticks away like the tick of a time bomb waiting to blast. No one would have been more surprised than me to hear my name called!! I was stumped..

Naturally I was pretty ecstatic when I  got placed. More so for the sake of shutting their big mouth than for my sake.

But , I was mistaken!!!! It is next to impossible to shut them off; they had found something else to nag about. I once again had to adorn my racing gear coz

The Race is STILL ON!!!!!!!!!!!!